The Day Everything Changed

August 2018. My body was exhausted-completely spent. After several days in the hospital, the diagnosis finally came: cholangiocarcinoma, bile duct cancer. Terminal in nature.

But even before those words were spoken, something else had already begun. Priest friends-unsolicited, unplanned-came to me and anointed me with the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick. I was aware of everything. On one side, there was the weight of reality pressing in. On the other, there was something deeper-something steady. The gift of faith held me firm. It quieted the storm within me and gave me peace that did not come from myself.

Then came the moment.

The doctor stood at my right side and began to speak: "Mr. Rudy, I'm sorry to tell you...you've been diagnosed with a terminal cancer... 15% chance to live two years, maybe.

At the very same time-just as clearly-I heard another voice, not external, but unmistakable. The Lord spoke. "Do you remember when you were a young boy, and you prayed that prayer to Me ? And immediately, I did. The interior view given was tender.

I was about eleven years old, fresh from a retreat. One morning, I had prayed-simply and honestly-that if it was possible, and that if it was His will, I would not leave this world suddenly, but that I might suffer with Christ...to walk with Him in His Passion-for my salvation, for my family, and for the world. It came back to me as if it had just happened. And He said: "I am answering your prayer."

In that moment, everything changed. There was still the reality of the diagnosis. There was still the weight of what had been said. But there was no confusion. When the Lord speaks with that kind of clarity, you know. It gave way to something deeper-something steadier. I did expect to die, not then

From that point forward, I understood: this was not simply an illness. This was a participation -something I had once asked for without fully understanding. But now the lens is clearer. Now, it has been given. I share this not as theory, but as lived reality. What follows in these reflections comes from that place-from what was endured, revealed, and gradually understood through grace.

Deacon Rudy

More to come soon